All The Things You Said

San Francisco’s 6^th annual LovEvolution (formerly known as Love Fest) was an interesting affair, to say the least. From the loud house style music and the non-stop dancing to the elaborately decorated floats and outrageously dressed attendees, the parade was definitely a sight to see. All of these components came together on October 3 to celebrate music, love, diversity, tolerance, dance, and community.

I arrived in the city around 1:00pm. I was excited, having only a vague idea of what was to come thanks to photos from previous years. My friends and I were dressed in bright colors, with exaggerated makeup, and pink, temporary hair-dye. Desperately trying to find a bathroom, we ventured down Market Street. The further we got down Market; the more and more we started seeing people dressed for the occasion. After finally reaching a restroom we decided to find a place to stand and watch the parade.

The floats were amazing and the music so hypnotizing, you couldn’t help but dance. Everyone and their grandfather had come to dance along the floats, it seemed. Each float had it’s own dancers, DJs and theme. My personal favorite was the Nor-Cal theme float, with the very vocalist. All the floats were truly unique and amazing in their own ways, though.

The varieties of outfits were spectacular. People were dressed in bright, metallic, and sparkling colors, with hair to match. There were face painted teens, high-heeled transvestites, full body animal costumed adults, and nude people all around you. My friends were danced on by a man in a lacking, leather outfit and my other friend was asked if she’d like a kiss by a large, shirtless, masked, older man. The people were a tiny bit insane and I have to admit that I loved it.

After the parade ended we started our long walk to the bus stop for our trip home. We made quite a few stops along the way, including Spirit Halloween store (which is where I will be purchasing my Halloween outfit accessories.), the Westfield shopping mall, and Del Taco, to name a few. We arrived at the bus stop much earlier than expected so we picked a case of stairs in front of a closed establishment to sit. We talked and laughed about our day and the sights that we witnessed and Del taco French-fries to pigeons. We found one black bird in particular that we favored and named him Elmer the Love Bird. I later wrote a story about Elmer, which you can read here.

After an hour and a half of waiting our Golden Gate Transit bus finally arrived at the designated stop. I was fully prepared to sleep the entire estimated two-hour bus ride, but as soon as we arrived at the Civic Center where the LovEvolution festival was taking place, I would have a quick change of heart. It took us about an hour to drive the length of Market to the Civic Center, to the bus stop near the festival. The nearly empty bus soon filled to the brim with LovEvolution goers, including one incredibly intoxicated college girl. Little did we know that this young woman would be our entertainment on the lengthy ride home.

This girl, whom we later in the trip nicknamed “drunk bitch”, had apparently given her phone to her friend; Scotty P. She said loudly, to no one in particular, that she had lent him her cell phone and he had failed to return it to her. Drunk Bitch’s friend, a girl presumably the same age with pupils so enormous that her irises were almost non-existent, did as her friend told her and tried to call Scotty P. and a couple of Scotty P.’s friends. Unfortunately, for the entire bus population, Big Pupil Girl did not get into contact with any of these people.

All of us bus-riders thought that this was the end of things and that we could all rest and have a peaceful trip home, since Drunk Bitch had passed out, but we were far from correct. Drunk Bitch woke up and started nagging Big Pupil Girl again about calling Scotty P. BPG tried to tell Drunk Bitch that she had already called people a few times and that nobody was answering their phones, but DB was unsatisfied with this answer. She asked and asked her friend to use her phone, but BPG refused to let her borrow it. At this point, chaos erupted. DB started to cry, whine and yell at her “best friend” telling her that she was a dumb bitch and that she hated her. After more a little more crying, yelling, and sleeping, DB awoke and began to complain to the people around her on the bus.

One gentleman in particular, who was wearing a hat, listened to DB and tried to calm her down. DB named this guy Hat Boy. All of us bus-riders joined in on the conversation and started referring to the boy as Hat Boy, also.

After Hat Boy had gotten off at this stop and we had bid him adieu, DB went back to her dramatic state of yelling and name-calling directed towards her friend. My friend and I couldn’t help but laugh and comment on this silly, immature, girl. DB did not find our laughter or commentary amusing and started directing the name-calling at us, which in turn made our giggles increase even more.

All along this interesting little bus ride the people of the bus had one large conversation together and some tried to help DB. DB unintentionally gave anyone she talked to a nickname that the entire bus then called that person by. There was Purple Shirt, Boy With Hair, Gum Dude, Sombrero Girl, Silver Legs, Skateboard Kid, Man In Sport Coat, Plaid, Sweater Boy, Old Asian Dude, Bitch’s Friend (my friend), and last, but certainly not least, Bitch I’m Going To Kick Your Ass (me).

At one point on this ride home, after receiving my nickname from DB, DB and I started to have a little bit of a confrontation. I promptly stood up and asked who would have my back if we were to brawl. More people than not, rose their hands. It was certainly the most hilarious bus ride that I’ve ever took part in.

All of the nicknamed bus riders decided to call the bus The Love Bus. We welcomed every new passenger to our Love Bus and took pictures with all the nicknamed people. DB even apologized and took the picture for us. That day our little Love Bus family bonded and made lasting memories of fun times together on that three hour long excursion back to our hometowns.

San Francisco’s LovEvolution is definitely an event not to be missed. With all the diverse music, culture, and people, there is something for everyone. I plan to attend 2010’s festival and parade and most likely many annual ones after that. I’d recommend the event to anyone who wants a great experience and an amazing adventure.

-Alyssa Christensen